I had a really rough spell last year where I had a lot taken from me that was unfair. I was deeply depressed. I actually overdosed trying to die on the day that I wrote this poem and ended up in the hospital being monitored for days. Please if you ever feel this way, don’t do as I did. Reach out for help. Call 988, 911 or go to the ER. There are always people that care even if they can be hard to find at times. I promise I care and I’m rooting for you.

Mediocrity

I am nothing. A nobody. I’m mediocrity.
A whisper in the wind. A vapor in the sea.
My life here has no meaning; No value or worth.
It’s been nothing but a cruel joke ever since my birth.

Every dream has been torn away by the demons that plague me.
They laugh. They mock. They torment and haunt me.
I’m the proverbial puppet and they’re pulling all the strings.
They don’t ask for my permission; They destroy all of my things.

My life is one weary day after day and yet another.
No one cares for my plight; No one seems to bother.
I just want to end the pain but a coward I must be.
I plan away my final day, but I can’t end my life you see.

Something keeps me going to face another day.
Some call it hope, but honestly I’m afraid to stay.
Death seems a peaceful reprieve from all unfair and cruel.
But the coward in me can’t end the pain, I’m simply a fool.

So here I am still facing another day.
Why do I do this? Why do I stay?

©2024 Stephanie Blomquist